What do moms really want? To be left alone. Thank for reading, see you next week!

 

Ok, not really. We actually love being moms. We love the snuggles, the laughs, the little hands that reach for ours whenever we go out, and the smiles when they see us waiting for them to get off the bus. All of these moments are precious and make being a mother awesome…but for the other 23 hours in the day, being a mom is tough work.

Which is why I love Mother’s Day! One day out of an entire year where it is ok to say- Appreciate me! Say nice things to me! Give me the biggest slice of cake! I get to drink the last cup of orange juice! Mother’s Day is the one day we get to stop being martyrs, stop sacrificing our needs- the big ones and the inconsequential ones- and just say, today I am queen.

It doesn’t take a lot to make a mother happy- in fact, I think what moms really want won’t cost you a dime. Here’s my Mother’s Day Gift Guide for the entire family- which by the way someone else other than Mom should make sure it gets done (yes, that means you Dad, Grandpa, Uncle, Boyfriend, Neighbor, Friends).

mothers day

Kids 12 & under:

1. DIY Craft

Bring us your pasta necklace, your hand-print art, your home-made card. Whatever you make, we will love. Yes, its true, moms love this crap. Why? Because it is proof that you were once sweet and loving- not the angst-ridden teens we know you are/will grow up to be. Plus, our hormones are out of whack and this type of stuff is just danged cute now.

Need an idea: log onto pinterest.com and just search “Mother’s Day crafts”. You’re welcome.

kids craft

2. The List

Every home has one, even if it’s not written down, and mom is generally in charge of making sure its done. Today, try to get it done yourselves (with help from the above Dad, Grandpa, Uncle, Boyfriend, Friend, if need be).

Clean your room. Brush your teeth.  Wash off the milk mustache. Brush your hair. Pick up your toys. Stop hitting your brother. Flush the toilet. Boogers go on a tissue, not on the couch. No toilet talk at the table. Yes, poop is considered toilet talk. No baseball in the house. No ball sports in the house. No, the balls I’m talking about are not considered toilet talk. Yes, those balls are. Please stop chanting balls.

See what I mean? Today, mom’s want to relinquish control of the list. We’re passing it on to you, [insert your name here].

Teens & Young Adults:

1. DIY

You can also give us a DIY gift. But you’ve got to up your game; the play-doh pencil holder no longer sings “darling” and moves into “slacker”. We know the creative geniuses you are; you’re our teens after all, so bring it. For example:

Write us letter, story, or song, that describes how much we mean to you, what good things you’ve learned from us (how to swear while driving does not count), and how you are a better person you are because of us. You can even get all techy: make a movie, or photo-shop some pics. We’ve seen you do this in your sleep for your “online” friends- how about for the woman who pushed you out of her hoo-ha?

Make us a mixed tape, or as you kids like to say it, a play-list for our iPods. We’re not as cutting edge as you, and would actually really love to have a work-out/dance/sing-a-long mix that you created. Especially if it includes music you listen too. Yes, it’s embarrassing for your mother to know the all the lyrics to LMFAO, but moms actually like to participate in things you like- and trust me,  having us listening to your music is way better than us chaperoning your Prom.

Yes, again, these  expressions of your love will be held as proof that somewhere inside of you, our sweet babies still exists. It also is in your benefit to provide your mom something tangible- this gift may one day save you from a year-long grounding after you’ve driven the car into the garage door. For the third time.

mom card

2. The List

See above. You are old enough to get the list done and make sure the other little bodies get it done too.Of course, as the more mature siblings, you can also add to your list (one or more of) the following:

Make breakfast/lunch/snacks/meals for everyone. Wash the car and vacuum it. Weed the flower beds. Mow the lawn. Clean the fridge out. Wash some windows/clothes/floors/[insert any dirty, dusty, greasy thing here]. *yes, your balls count, but you should be doing that everyday so it doesn’t count as a gift for your mom.

We know you long to be in charge and prove that you are no longer a little kid. Well, today is your day. One day can’t be too hard, right? (snicker)

Dads or other Adults who have a Mom they need to be nice to:

I’ve got to be real with you husbands, baby-daddies, or other adults: Mother’s Day is a hard day of gift giving. Hopefully, these tips help:

1. The Kids

Any gift that involves the kids would be cherished. A framed pic of our kids (that we are not in charge of taking, corralling the kids to smile, or  waiting at the photo place for 3 hours), oh please! A photo calendar, yes x 12! T-shirts for the little ones emblazoned with “my mom is awesome”,  perfect.

But if you could also just make sure the kids have something to offer us today too? That would be really special too.

mr mom

2. The List

Yes, you can do the list too. You can make us breakfast (and the kids), you can be in charge (especially at diaper time), and you can, without rolling your eyes, clean our (insert everything dirty here). *ok that didn’t sound right, but you know what I mean. 
3. DIY
Yes, we would cherish a love letter from you as well. But if you could also finish every DIY project your started and/or promised, that would be even better. See, you are still living with us, so we know you love us. However, by actually installing that shelf in the laundry room, that proves you LOVE  us. There’s a difference- yes, it’s a female thing. Deal with it. :)
4. Flowers & Chocolates & ?
Women love to receive flowers and chocolates. On Wednesdays. Or Tuesdays. Or just because. Flowers and chocolates should NOT be given on special occasions (birthdays, Mother’s Day) UNLESS they are accompanied by a [insert something else, like shelf in the laundry room].  If you want to give flowers and chocolates, remember to do something else!!
5. Store Bought Gifts
Warning. Store bought gifts are rife with complications. Yes, we actually would love a new vacuum cleaner. But not for Mother’s Day. Buying us a better (insert cleaning appliance) today does not read “I Love You”, instead it says “You need clean more. ” Also, those sexy (lingerie, perfumes, stilettos) are gifts meant to be bought for us,for you, so be wary. A general rule of thumb is, if an Kate Upton-esque model  is in the ad, it wouldn’t make a great Mother’s Day gift.
Still want to head to the mall? Well here’s a tip: check out your leading-lady’s pinterest.com board. Look for the heading “Stuff I Want” or something like that. Again though: if she would use it to clean the house, don’t buy it! Anything else is fair game.
This is on my wish list ( I know my hubbs would never think to buy this for me…obviously Kate Upton doesn’t hawk bejeweled moose heads):
glitter moose
6. Dining Out
Moms love dining out- especially with their families who don’t chew with their mouths open and discuss balls (at least not within hearing distance). If this is not your family, than maybe you should stay in. Moms actually love to dine at home too- especially when they are not doing the cooking. And hey, if you can’t cook, there is such a thing as take out. Just call from her favorite restaurant, add “nice-it-up” by adding some real dinnerware and candles. (Oh, and make sure someone other than mom does the dishes.)
I hope these tips helped in your quest for a great Mother’s Day present. You’ve got 2 days until Sunday- make them count. Know that what really makes any gift special is not the amount you spent, but the time you took to make it happen. Happy Mother’s Day!
p.s. What has been your favorite/worst present ever?